Online Dating
Just a little poll here. When online dating (I know many of you have used online dating services before! Admit it!), is it rude and unforgivable to refuse to talk to someone? I don't know how online dating works in the heterosexual world, but I don't find it particularly endearing when people send me e-mails with subject lines like: "Do you top or bottom?" or "Wanna fuck?" or "I'm a sex fiend". Also, several folks have introduced themselves by sending me photos of their genitals. It's even more disturbing when people 60+ years old (who don't apparently read that I'm interested in guys aged 18-35) try to sweep me off my feet by sending me shockingly inappropriate e-mails. Whatever happened to "Hey, how's it going? Thought you had a cool profile. Give me a shout?"???? It's also amazing how angry some people get when you reject them!
Take, for instance, this conversation I had with a 50 year old guy that wanted me to show him my blocked photos (please note, I do not have crotch shots or naked pics on the internet; on this particular webpage, I block my face pictures because I discovered that nothing is more annoying than running into someone you've never met before (such as a really loud, old, over-weight flamer) in a crowded restaurant, and having that person announce "Oh my god, you're so cute! You're cuter than the photo on your [certain online dating service] profile! Can I buy you a drink?"). Anyways, this 50 year old guy wanted to see my photos; this was how the e-mail exchange went:
OG (other guy):
Take, for instance, this conversation I had with a 50 year old guy that wanted me to show him my blocked photos (please note, I do not have crotch shots or naked pics on the internet; on this particular webpage, I block my face pictures because I discovered that nothing is more annoying than running into someone you've never met before (such as a really loud, old, over-weight flamer) in a crowded restaurant, and having that person announce "Oh my god, you're so cute! You're cuter than the photo on your [certain online dating service] profile! Can I buy you a drink?"). Anyways, this 50 year old guy wanted to see my photos; this was how the e-mail exchange went:
OG (other guy):
I would love to see you other pics..
I am in Wilder
work at DHMC Me:No dude, I'm not interested. Thanks for the e-mail, but I'm sorry.
OG:not interested?Me:
No, I'm not keen to talk, dude. Take care. OG:you sound like an asshole.. good luck Me:Nope, just exercising my right to decide when and with whom I want to talk. OG:yup.. an asshole Me:Ha ha, right on dude. Take 'er easy. OG:your life must suck
I've had a number of exchanges that have gone on like this. So what're your opinions? Am I indeed an asshole for choosing not to show him my pictures, and not wanting to talk to him? Or should I have totally ignored him altogether?
posted by Even Stephen at
4:59 PM
8 Comments:
look, if you're not interested, you're not interested. he was just becoming defensive because he thought you were attacking his physicality, which you may or may not have been. but he doesn't know either way.
i think you were extremely polite. there's no reason you should have to interact with anyone who doesn't spark your interest. besides, isn't that the whole point of online dating? if you did speak to him, you would have been defeating its purpose.
if you had simply not responded, that would have been rude and, yes, it would have made you an asshole. i would get used to this kind of response, however, especially if you're new to online dating. you will meet a lot of insecure people.
how this conversation should have gone, and WOULD have gone had he any semblance of self-esteem:
OG (other guy): I would love to see you other pics..I am in Wilder. work at DHMC
Me: No dude, I'm not interested. Thanks for the e-mail, but I'm sorry.
OG: no sweat, take care.
point is, no matter how attractive you are, you can't expect to be attractive to everyone. you have to learn how to handle rejection in this crazy online dating game.
verdict: plaintiff (you)
hope this helps!
bobulah
By
Bobulah, at 8:10 PM
Thanks for the input, bobulah! I figured this was the case, but thought I'd make sure.
Wow! I didn't realize that people I don't know are reading my blog! That's pretty awesome!
By
Even Stephen, at 8:28 PM
Here's another question: What's the appropriate response when someone e-mails me something short, like "sup?"
By
Even Stephen, at 8:42 PM
I've had my share of crazy online dating experiences. Until a guy sends you photos of his slashed wrists after you reject him, you haven't beat me yet.
By
Blight, at 8:42 AM
Jeez, Blight! That's nuts! Was it someone you had talked to quite a bit, or just some random crazy?
By
Even Stephen, at 11:39 AM
Someone I talked to via instant messenger quite a bit... and we might be meeting for a dance cruise next month. Don't ask me why...
By
Blight, at 1:50 PM
yeah! dance cruise it up, boyyyy!
stevo, you're totally in the clear. In the real world, rejection works like that, too. By being polite, that's extending him a courtesy, no? If you wanted him to see your private oil-wrestling pics, you would have offered.
I think he was just trying to guilt you into giving him the pics. Like 'I'm an asshole?!? Noooooo... here are my pics, please take them, you big burly Winklemeyer!'
By
Cibbuano, at 12:33 AM
That's what makes online dating exciting! lol. seriously, I get a kick from answering emails like that at webdate*dot*com.
By
partygirljessica, at 9:54 AM
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home